Sunday, April 17, 2005

Today's Invention

Sinful Supplements Inc.

I went to Smoothie King today and got a 32oz smoothie with added memory supplements. It was called strawberry or raspberry something muscle blah blah. I don’t know. You go in and order right up front. An employee gives you a ticket with your number on it and they call it when they have finished preparing the smoothie. This practice seems absurd because the staff usually out numbers the patrons. There is never a line. The ticket is placed in my hand and in a continuance of that motion my hand empties it into the trash. However, this is not the only curiosity in the shop.

I was browsing the store’s various side counter items while I was waiting for my smoothie. There were vitamins, energy bars, muscle enhancers, and other dietary supplements and all with the oddest flavors. There were cinnamon berry energy gels, yogurt almond cranberry crunch trail mix, chocolate hazelnut meal replacement bars, and ice melon rush electrolyte replacement drinks. The last thing I’m thinking about when I’m on a diet is fruity gimmicks snacks. So why would anyone else. I would imagine that most people are on diets to cut back on the red meats, pizza, fries, and other fatty foods. Wouldn’t you think?

In response, today I invented a line of dietary products that taste like the foods we are abstaining from; the things we crave. Basically they are the same as the products I saw today at Smoothie King and that you would see at any Health Food Store but with different flavors. For example: Pepperoni Protein Bars, Pizza flavored instant energy gels, meat stick flavored meal replacement bars, and beer flavored sports drinks.

No comments: