Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I was baptized at 12 thinking I had a ticket into heaven but it wasn't until my late twenties that I grasped the concept of repentance and Faith. That's what I really needed. My baptism was about as meaningful as a bubble bath without it. I'm a Christian b/c I realized that despite my deserving Hell, I'm going to Heaven because by creator paid for my crimes past/present/future with the blood of his son. It wasn't until I looked at the 10 commandments against the life I was living that I realized how sinful I really was. I've told lies, so I'm a liar. I've stolen, not much, just little things; paper clips from work, someone's idea, no matter how small, right? I'm a thief. I fell short in each of the ten. I do deserve Hell! Yet, Jesus took my punishment on himself. I'm not a good person but I've been forgiven and that's why I'm a Christian and why I struggle everyday to do His will.
Posted by Eric at 4:06:00 PM
Monday, October 16, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I bought a vial of concentrated Eucalyptus oil to sniff when I have a cold to clear my stuffy head but my friends with colds laugh and say I'm damaging my brain cells. I say they are missing out because when a pleasant smell comes around during cold season I'll be the only one able to retrieve it. Besides, Koalas use this stuff all the time and if it was dangerous wouldn't they'd all be extinct?
Posted by Eric at 12:06:00 AM
Monday, October 09, 2006
I want to get a better look at this girl's nose ring but it would hurt her feelings if she caught me staring so I look away real quick. It's like the very things people do to attract attention only distract from it. I'm down with looking different, just suffer me a longer than polite look. You got a mohawk that's fine, just let me look at you without any fear of being a attacked with a claw hammer.
There are three occupants who live under my roof; me, the wife, and the baby. Of these three, only two have full control of their arms and legs and only two have a highly developed thought structure. I get a call at working asking if I ate the last piece of cake? "Please tell me you've figued the math out." I gotta wonder if somewhere I miscounted. Is there a fourth occupant that would justify this call or is someone giving the baby way too much credit.?
Posted by Eric at 11:43:00 AM
Saturday, October 07, 2006
I think that it should be a requirement that if a grocery store is going step outside of the box and sell sushi that they at least have on staff someone of Japanese heritage. Man, I'm 6700 miles from Japan, who's going to vouch for my California Roll? If you say McDonalds then you can make me a burger. If you say McRonalds then you can roll me some rice.
Posted by Eric at 12:57:00 PM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Product testing? My shampoo says it wasn't tested on animals, but what's the alternative? Humans! I'd rather there be a rat somewhere with a nice shining coat than to think of aboriginal orphans being tied down for a forced shampoo. How can I sleep tonight knowing what I know.
Posted by Eric at 11:51:00 AM
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
What I don't like about Monopoly is that people use phrases from the game when they aren't even playing. "Eric, come home right after work. Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars." And then they get mad when you make a board game reference. "Hey, save me a bite you hungry, hungry, hippo."
Posted by Eric at 12:08:00 AM
Monday, October 02, 2006
People like to authenticate their self importance by declaring that their family goes back four or five generations. But that's nothing to brag about. What happened 4 or 5 generations ago that caused your family to just pop into existence. Like a big bang or something and, whoa, the Jacksons! I go back to Adam, you go somewhere and evolve.
Posted by Eric at 10:40:00 PM
There is a can of vanilla air freshener in the bathroom at work. The placement of it in a work environment staffed with gastro-intestinal problems has forever associated the sweet aroma of vanilla beans with the thinly veiled stink of a colon blow.
Posted by Eric at 8:31:00 PM
I have learned, from my years in the wireless industry, that many customers make purchases well beyond what their intelligence can handle. They come in complaining that their cell phone doesn't have a dial tone, they use descriptors like "the thingy", or they bring in abused phones and swear that they just woke up one morning and their phone was in two pieces. Someone said it best when they said, "We run credit not I.Q." It's a good thing too or a bunch of folks would go home empty handed. "Sorry buddy, you don't qualify. Come back when you raise that I.Q. 100 points."
Posted by Eric at 8:05:00 PM