Thursday, July 28, 2005

I'm jumping on the Q & A bandwagon

***UPDATED AS OF 7/28***
(updates are in green)

I jacked this questionnaire from my buddy, Kelly's, site. The answers are mine.

1. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
I stole a kiss from a neighbor girl when I was five.
2. What do you think is your best feature?
I'd say my sense of humor but my wife would say my dimples. She has to live with my twisted humor and it's just not funny to her anymore.
3. What is your favorite breed of dog?
I love all dogs.
4. If you could attend only one Olympic event, which would it be?
I'm more of a X-Games fan but I think I would enjoy watching Olympic hockey.
5. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Michael Moore, so I could poop in his soup. Sorry, for being so crude, but I can't stand this lie monger!
6. If you were a car what kind would you be?
I'd be Ken Kesey's Merry Prankster bus called "Further" because of all its interesting passengers: Bob Dylan, Neal Cassidy, the Grateful Dead, and ect.

7. What is your favorite number?
8. Which Disney character are you most like?
9. If a movie was made about you, who would play you?
Jack Black. I'm sure we wouldn't be able to occupy the same point in time and space without the universe collapsing in on it self because he reminds me of myself so much.
10. Have you ever been out of the country and, if yes, where? (list all places)
Yes. Mexico on a mission trip with CSF.
11. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last twelve (12) months?
Zero. Yea! Bring back the wagon train!
12. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Scream like a little girl, possibly wetting my self.
13. If you where stuck at one age for the rest of your life, what age would you want it to be?
19 for sure. I started noticing my decline at 23.
14. What is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you?
I thought I was playing "Good Samaritan" by giving this lady a ride from the bank to the White Castle down the road. She ended being a hooker. I took her straight to the White Castle upon knowledge of this fact.
15. What is the “coolest (or most unique) thing you have ever done?
My brother-in-law and I produced a two day charity music festival for the Coalition for Kids.
16. What is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you?
Nothing so far compares to what I'm going to experience the first week in January with the birth of our first child. When I think about being in the delivery room I briefly lose conscientiousness. For those of you who think this is a cop out I have come up with something......I have dreams about sharks sometimes. That's scarry.
17. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
18. What is your favorite restaurant to eat at?
The Mellow Mushroom.
19. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Gin and Sprite.
20. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Lazy people.
21. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
Maize soup or what I call "Cat knuckle soup". I had this when I was in Mexico. I did notice the absence of cats in the town, but I was convinced by the others that it was corn and not cat knuckles that were bobbing around in my soup.
22. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you want it to be?
It would probably be a song I wrote and sang for my wife for our first X-mas. Professionally speaking though, I would choose "The Road", by Nick Drake.
23. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
Big Sky
24. What is the best book you have ever read?
"The Way of the Master", by Ray Comfort. This book will change your life, I promise.
25. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Her face, eyes, smile, hair, and her body. This order might be reversed in most cases.
26. What is the one thing you want to do before you die?
I want to see one of my songs recorded and I want to attain perfect pitch.
27. What is the most outrageous thing you would love to do?
Sing on stage. I have horrible pitch and voice sounds like a rusty nail going through tin, so singing on stage would be outrageous.
28. What is your favorite board game?
Trivial Pursuit
29. If you could have any job, what would it be?
30. What, in your opinion, is the worst way to die?
Shark attack.
31. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?
A million more wishes. That my entire family would be saved and be reunited in Heaven. Well, for that matter, I wish everyone would. And that I wish that I could start life over knowing everything I know now.
31. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas. I saw a Discovery Channel piece about this "manly peak" on the roof of the world and now I want to go.
32. What is one thing you could not go more than a week without?
My wife and my guitar.
33. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
I wish I could let go of my anger.
34. In the last three years, what is one thing you would have done differently?
I would share my faith more. See question 24 for further instructions on how Jesus did it.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Today's Random Thought

Why does it seem that the Vietnamese are predisposed to the nail care industry?

Today's Invention

Noise Cancellation Booths

Have you ever struggled to participate in a conversation at a restaurant because the noise was too great. I've invented booths fitted with an array of noise canceling microphones and speakers which efficiently lower the levels of ambient noise within the radius of the booth. The level of noise cancellation can be adjusted by the occupants of the booth. Enjoy your meal and just adjust the volume when you are ready to hear the band.

Hollywood Torches

I was watching National Treasure with Nicolas Cage recently and was reminded of a cinematic oddity: the torch that never burns out. The particular scene was set in a once inhabited cave. The antiquated torches from previous occupants still hung there on the cave walls. The actors, like in so many movies, lit the torches which fired to life as if they were trailer park Tiki lamps. I wonder if the frequency of this "trick" in the movies has dulled our awareness of it's improbability? Please comment with your own epiphanies, for example, comment on things that have become so familiar to you that you have failed to question them. Our Civil Liberties is good example. There are so many cameras installed out and about that it is almost assured that you will be video taped at some point in your day. These cameras have become so common place that few question the issue of privacy. This is just an example of the comments I'm looking for. Please don't mistake my Civil Liberties comment as being in anyway sympathetic to the domestic Nazis at the ACLU.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Today's Scene

Today's scene has our hero dancing madly at the recent LIVE 8 concert and thinking back to the Free Tibet concerts she attended in the late nineties. She till proudly wears the Free Tibet T-shirt, the backpack, the headband, beer coozy, and the sticker on her SUV. She misses the common sense exit along her journey down memory lane and ends up spending $150 in the vendor tents. But it's all for a good cause, just like this LIVE 8 concert, she says to herself as she buys a Duran Duran CD that they reissued just for this event. The money all goes to fight poverty or something right?

Who are these thinly veiled capital ventures benefiting anyway? LIVE 8 was organized to "bring awareness" to Africa's poverty. What about all the money that was spent on all the artist's merchandise. Oh, that? That went to line their pockets, reconstitute lagging record sales and dying careers. I wonder if our hero really thought that her "FREE TIBET" sticker really did any good. Does our hero think her Duran Duran CD bought even one bowl of rice for someone in Africa? The "Awareness" that I acquired during LIVE 8 is the realization that there are suckers out there who can't see past the nose on their face. So, in honor of you, to stick up my nose at all you pseudo-do-gooders, I made my own sticker. And guess what? It will raise just as much "awareness" in it's sick ironic message.


What good does "Awareness" do without action? Anyone, as you can see above, can bring awareness to an issue. What has happened here is that the world was duped by a money making scheme with a charity title.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Today's Invention

Today's invention is a new technique for speech writers, public speakers, and writers of all kinds. The technique involves weaving an underlying thread of meaning throughout the speech or public address as a matter of keeping people's interest. For example a writer could fit in quotes from Beatles songs. An example follows in a short piece on improving your golf swing:

"How important are your wrists in your golf swing? Have you given it much thought?
Yesterday, my troubles seemed so far away since I've developed these techniques.

I Want to Tell You some methods that have helped me. Now picture yourself in a boat on a river, With tangerine trees and marmalde skies. Ok, now that you are relaxed, take a moment and picture your golf swing. Start at the address position - to the top - through impact and on to the follow through. I test my swing with my heaviest driver which is made from Norwegian Wood. Now just isolate your wrists and even your hands to get a better visual. You know you twist so fine sometimes. Do you see how important they are in your swing? If not, let me explain briefly.

There are several roles the wrists play in your golf swing, but two that really come to mind. They are:

1. Controlling the club throughout the golf swing. That means on plane and with the proper clubface alignment.
2. Providing power through impact or the "hitting zone".

If your wrists are weak it will be very hard to accomplish these actions and you'll ball will most likely end up in the rough or in Strawberry Field Forever. This is a common scenario for junior golfers, since their strength hasn't been worked on yet. While you shouldn't be cinching up on your grip, your wrists need to be firm to control the club throughout your swing. If You've Got Trouble then , picture "setting" your club at the top. It needs to be consistently in a certain position to make a proper downswing. If your wrists are weak you will have a difficult time controlling the club due to its length and weight."

Ok, you get the point. Try something else. You could use rhthme perhaps, or include famous quotes from politicians or celebrities. This technique provides a degree of familiarity to an otherwise boring or complidated subject. It will also tune your audience to the real words and meaning you are trying to convey because they are listening now.