Monday, May 09, 2005

Today's Invention

The Super Packet

Are you as frustrated as I am about the amount of catsup fast foods restaurants give you at the drive through? I know we’re not talking world peace here! Yes, there are bigger issues in the world to be bent out of shape about, but not at this very moment. At this very moment I need catsup for my fries. And I’m going to need more than two packets of catsup for my large order of fries, ok? I burned those two on just four fries. You might say that I should have had the forethought to ask for extras. Ok, let’s go down that path, but I must warn you that I’ve been down it before. I have been given fists full of extras, but with this another problem surfaces. I call it the “catsup dance”. It is the long, monotonous act of extracting the condiment from the catsup packets. The dance can turn a quick meal into a full hour affair. Each packet, from my best estimate, can satisfy three fries.

See, this isn’t going to cut it.

We are talking big numbers here if I decide on the large order of fries. My ancestors were hunter-gathers; I am not. The last animal I killed, I stepped on and I picked it up with a Kleenex tissue and flushed it. You see, I don’t want to have to work for my food and that’s why I’m at a fast food joint! So, today’s invention or re-invention is the Super Packet.
The Super Packet is similar to what we are used to at the drive though window, now, except each has the capacity to hold 4 ounces of catsup. Catsup producers should, at the very least, consider putting catsup in the same size packets as they put some of their other condiments.

It's only fair.

No comments: