Today's Random Thought

Logan's Roadhouse is one of those resturants that serves peanuts as appitizers. It's an American version of chips and salsa and basically these types of eateries are just thumbing their noses at the mexician joints, but it's a tasting gimmick none the less. Logan's further plays on the gimmick by allowing customers to toss their empty shells on the floor. It's part of the Roadhouse feel. My thought concerns the obvious slip hazzard that surrounds this practice. I'm actually surprised that there isn't a drive through just for soliciting lawyers. So, why don't more people walk out of Logan's with concussions? Anyhow, I've never been to an authentic Roadhouse but I did see Patrick Swayze in the movie of the same name, so I feel quite confident in saying that Logan's doesn't live up to the hype.

Don't push your religion on me!

Why does Christianity offend the world? Why does the Gospel rub people the wrong way?

When a proud sinner is confronted with their sin through the 10 commandments a battle is started in their heart and mind. Their conscience is convicting them of their sin while their mind is fighting to hold on to the belief that they are a "good" person. What results is anger. You've heard the saying, "Don't shoot the messenger for the message"? Well, this is what is happening. A proud sinner will lash out at the one who brought the message.

"Don't push your religion on me!" Have you heard this? It's the messenger being "shot". It is also proof that that person is being worked over by their conscience. Why else would they respond so harshly? You won't see the same response if someone stood up in the town square declaring the sky to be red and to repent of our notions of a blue sky. "Repent, blue sky believers!" No, you aren't going to hear anyone say, "Don't push your red sky belief on me!" You won't because that message doesn't convict the hearers' conscience. People would regard it as foolishness and not give it a second thought. But those who are being confronted by their sin are bothered, those who aren't don't give it a second thought because it is foolishness to them.

This brings me to the other question, "Why does the gospel rub people the wrong way?" Check out 1 Cor 1:18....

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. ¹⁹For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."

A man dying on the cross for me? That is silly. Tell a sinner that before they are convinced of their sin and you've just turned the gospel message into just an ordinary event in history. It takes seeing that one is a sinner before hell and the cross make sense. For ways to biblically witness to someone go to The Way of the Master.

Today's Random Thought

I wonder if Jesus' repeated references about tax collectors didn't hurt Matthew just a little each time?

Matt 5:46
"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" -NIV

I wonder if writing about it here was therapy for him? I can hear Jesus saying that and the Apostles snickering at Matthew.

"Shock Joust" added to the pop lexicon

"Shock Joust", the word I coined in a post titled "Paraplegic Humor", was added to pseudodictionary.com.

Good News!!!

It's a Girl!!!! God has answered our prayers. Today we learn that we are going to have a girl. The ultrasound showed a 1 lb 1 oz. girl jumping around inside my wife. WOW. We are soooo happy!

Guilty of looking the other way!

Chris's post and my daily reading prompted this:

"If someone comes to your meeting and does not teach the truth about Christ, don't invite him into your house or encourage him in any way. Anyone who encourages him becomes a partner in his evil work" 2 John 10, NLT

We have ground accustomed to walking on eggshells around our "Christian" brothers who are living in sin and by doing so are guilty of it ourselves. By saying nothing we are encouraging him. Wow. Chew on that.

My Goals

I'm reading Steven Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and I'm even more convinced of the importance of goals. I've included mine here below with a brief note on how I plan to achieve each goal. This is a working document for me which look at and add to periodically. I suck at this in my opinion but I am accomplishing more with goals in mind than without them.

January 2005
Last revised August 2005

Goals 2005

Love more
See others how God sees them

Pray more
For the lost
Family
Self betterment

Be a better husband
Call from work
Leave notes
See things from her point of view

Memorize and establish a repertoire
Memorize one cover a month
Memorize one original a month
Memorize a verse a day.

Evangelize more
Hand out tracts.

Read more. Bible, self-help, bio, ect
Read bible during lunch break
Read chapter out of self help book a day
Read chapter out of a book for leisure

Write more
Write a song a week.

Play a stronger lead
Amp up at church
Practice along with CDs

Develop my ear
Learn intervals
Develop Tonal Memory

Enter writing contests
One a month

Spurgeon Blues

Even Judas was a preacher

"You that are Church-officers do not conclude that because you enjoy the confidence of the Church, therefore there is an absolute certainty the grace of God in you." -Charles Spurgeon

Spurgeon Blues

Hypocrisy

"I am told that Christians do not love each other. I am very sorry if that be true, but I rather doubt it, for I suspect that those who do not love each other are not Christians." -Charles Spurgeon

Today's Random Thought

What was the reasoning behind making cookies look like elves? How did we become callous to this? They don't taste like elves, so why did we go down that road? The "Little People" of the world aren't offended that we are biting into their cookie likeness and that is just weird if you think about it. I would be if I learned that Africans were eating "Eric" shaped sugar cookies made to look like a Caucasian hillbilly from Tennessee. I don't know? Mr. Peanut freaks me out too. I don't know if we'd be so cavalier about eating peanuts if they all looked like Mr. Peanut. Anthropomorphism and food just don't seem to mix but we've accepted it somehow.

Today's Invention

Teflon Cue Stick

I invented this to eliminate the messy practice of chalking the stick before play. Teflon is the slipperiest substance known to man and will provide the near frictionless surface needed to properly maneuver the stick through the players' hand during a shot.

Today's Invention

Bedliner Bathtubs

My wife actually helped come up with this one. We were reminded of our grout problems in our shower when we saw a display in the Mall of these fiberglass tub covers. They just slipped over the exsisting tub. My wife hates cleaning the tub and I hate the idea of replacing the grout. The tub slip covers were kind of ghetto, but my wife said they were like truck bedliners. That's when it hit us. Why not just hose down our tub and tiling with those spray on bedliners like Rhino offers? Neccessity really is the mother of invention.

Maternity Smoking Jacket

What is something you might find at a yardsale in Tennessee?

Baby Victoria Secret

What is a store you won't see following the baby trend?

My email to Ray Comfort

Ray Comfort,

Below is my own version of your "Firefighter polishing the Fire Truck while people perish in the burning building" example of our responsibility to the lost. Ray's example shows how Christians' responsibility is to "stop talking about fishing" and go out and fish.

"By not sharing our faith we are like a man who sits down to a sack lunch amongst a group of those who are starving. He sits down, says thanks for the food, and enjoys his meal with his blinders firmly in place"

Below is my analogy explaining what a "fear filled" convert is.

"You are talking with some friends in the hallway at school when the class bully approaches. Out of fear you change your demeanor to that of submission, paying careful attention not to rouse the anger of the bully by the slightest bit of irritation. You walk on egg shells so not to deserve some form of torment from the bully to be meted out later on the playground. All the while you and your friends are secretly hoping that the teacher will hold him back a grade next year."

This type of convert is the product of Hell Fire preaching where the "convert" actually resents God for the punishment instead of fleeing to Him for the salvation from it.

Feel free to use them if you think they will help.

I need some help with this song.

(Not yet titled)

I went to an Auction on the bad side of town

Cross the railroad tracks and on down around

Round the river’s bend to the house where the Colonial once lived

The Colonial fought battles with his demons, his bottle battled back.

But, slowly it turned on him and attacked.

The story ending like it did was inevitable, I suppose.

And now the county was selling his home, said everything had to go.

It goes to pay the tax man what the tax man is owed.

Now it felt like a sin when I walked in.

To see it was more than just possessions that they were selln’

His memories in pictures were framed and ,now, tangible to touch.

Laid on these shelves just building up dust.

There was a Purple Heart for the lead that was still there in his hip;

the cane he used and his permanent limp.

There was a plaque from the local Lion’s club

from 89, 90, and 91.

A picture of the Colonial saluting the flag.

And of him with his family, a family no one knew he had.

The man I thought was just a drunk whom life had thrown a curve.

Was special to someone before taking a wrong turn

and before loosing control and before jumping the curb.

Framed and for sale now were the years before the fall

And for just a few misdeeds I had judged them all

Theses pictures told stories of the good within these walls.

I could not bear to see what I knew not run free.

I would not want my legacy dying with me.

Chorus

So I stole the pictures that were there on the shelf.

They meant nothing to no one so I took ‘em for myself.

Oh, you can’t put a dollar sign on that man’s life.

Memories can’t be sold for any kind of price.

Paraplegic Humor

I finally got an answer to the age-old question, "Why don't Paraplegics do their own stunts?" Last night I was watching TV and stumbled across a Johnny Knoxville like stunt called "Paraplegic Jousting" on MTV. The two crippled guys in wheel chairs were each given high voltage cattle prods and were wheeled around to face each other. They were then pushed towards each other Elizabethan style in an attempt to shock joust the other guy off his wheel chair steed. This first guy got hit and immediately crumbled to the ground. Loosing his mobility left him open to gratuitous attacks from his still upright opponent. Feeling empowered and board with the torment of his helpless foe, he soon took to shocking the hosts of the show, who fortunately could run from their attacker. This turn of events was quite funny. It was as if the guy in the chair was speaking for the handicapped as a whole by venting his frustration on those that could walk. He was able to take out two of the stunt's hosts. Meanwhile, the downed cripple is waiving his shock prod around bravely like he was the last one standing at the Alamo. Standing? No, sitting, anyhow. It reminded me of a scene I saw on the The Animal Planet channel where a clan of hyenas were encircling a wounded Wildebeest who was hopelessly defending off attacks from all sides. It will only be a matter of time before they ban this form of entertainment like they banned midget tossing. What will the media moguls think of next?

Q&A as Mike Mullins would fill it out.

This is a game we are playing. First a few of us fill out this questionnaire then we fill it out as we think one of the others should've answered it. What follows is how I think Mike should've these same questions. His real one is on his site.

1.How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Old enough to know that dollies are for girl.
2. What do you think is your best feature?
Dry sense of humor.
3. What is your favorite breed of dog?
A Schnauzer. I'm going on the pretense that pets resemble their owners.
4. If you could attend only one Olympic event, which would it be?
Greco-Roman wrestling.
5. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
The "Family Guy"
6. If you were a car what kind would you be?
The Dukes of Hazzard Dodge 01
7. What is your favorite number?
01
8. Which Disney character are you most like?
Scar from the Lion King
9. If a movie was made about you, who would play you?
Luke Wilson
10. Have you ever been out of the country and, if yes, where? (list all places)
Who cares. He didn't stay.
11. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last twelve (12) months?
zero
12. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Push the wife and kid aside and swim towards the surface.
13. If you where stuck at one age for the rest of your life, what age would you want it to be?
Sperm, man those were the days.
14. What is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you?
McDonalds getting chicken strips.
15. What is the coolest (or most unique) thing you have ever done?
My brother-in-law and I produced a two day charity music festival for the Coalition for Kids.
16. What is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you?
Fly ball hit to me in the outfield.
17. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
I'm sorry but I can't finish this one because I have the most horrendous picture in my head.
18. What is your favorite restaurant to eat at?
Harbor House with my family.
19. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Anything clear. It must be clear because colored drinks cause cancer!
20. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who don't understand people who are late.
21. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
Corn....................................THAT WAS STILL FREAKN' ON THE COB. EHWWWWWW!
22. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you want it to be?
The Barney song.
23. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
Leave it as Mike but just pronounce it with a Jamaican accent.
24. What is the best book you have ever read?
Paint Winnie: A paint by number retrospect on the life and times of the Pooh Bear
25. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
It's more of a sensation.
26. What is the one thing you want to do before you die?
To personally reach "Studio 54" like status among my co-workers.
27. What is the most outrageous thing you would love to do?
Race the Dodge through Bristol with the Mayor (wink,wink) chasing me in his convertible, Boss Hogg style.
28. What is your favorite board game?
Chess
29. If you could have any job, what would it be?
Club owner and international man of mystery.
30. What, in your opinion, is the worst way to die?
Food poisoning.
31. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?
For supreme dominance over my gimp, Dave Buckles.
31. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Anywhere the wife and kid were not.
32. What is one thing you could not go more than a week without?
Heat n' Serve frozen dinners
33. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
My New Kids on the Block, Hangn' Tough haircut.
34. In the last three years, what is one thing you would have done differently?
Mac'd on the chick from the Dukes of Hazzard Documentary.

I'm jumping on the Q & A bandwagon

***UPDATED AS OF 7/28***
(updates are in green)

I jacked this questionnaire from my buddy, Kelly's, site. The answers are mine.

1. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
I stole a kiss from a neighbor girl when I was five.
2. What do you think is your best feature?
I'd say my sense of humor but my wife would say my dimples. She has to live with my twisted humor and it's just not funny to her anymore.
3. What is your favorite breed of dog?
I love all dogs.
4. If you could attend only one Olympic event, which would it be?
I'm more of a X-Games fan but I think I would enjoy watching Olympic hockey.
5. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Michael Moore, so I could poop in his soup. Sorry, for being so crude, but I can't stand this lie monger!
6. If you were a car what kind would you be?
I'd be Ken Kesey's Merry Prankster bus called "Further" because of all its interesting passengers: Bob Dylan, Neal Cassidy, the Grateful Dead, and ect.

7. What is your favorite number?
311
8. Which Disney character are you most like?
Goofy
9. If a movie was made about you, who would play you?
Jack Black. I'm sure we wouldn't be able to occupy the same point in time and space without the universe collapsing in on it self because he reminds me of myself so much.
10. Have you ever been out of the country and, if yes, where? (list all places)
Yes. Mexico on a mission trip with CSF.
11. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last twelve (12) months?
Zero. Yea! Bring back the wagon train!
12. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Scream like a little girl, possibly wetting my self.
13. If you where stuck at one age for the rest of your life, what age would you want it to be?
19 for sure. I started noticing my decline at 23.
14. What is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you?
I thought I was playing "Good Samaritan" by giving this lady a ride from the bank to the White Castle down the road. She ended being a hooker. I took her straight to the White Castle upon knowledge of this fact.
15. What is the “coolest (or most unique) thing you have ever done?
My brother-in-law and I produced a two day charity music festival for the Coalition for Kids.
16. What is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you?
Nothing so far compares to what I'm going to experience the first week in January with the birth of our first child. When I think about being in the delivery room I briefly lose conscientiousness. For those of you who think this is a cop out I have come up with something......I have dreams about sharks sometimes. That's scarry.
17. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Yes
18. What is your favorite restaurant to eat at?
The Mellow Mushroom.
19. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Gin and Sprite.
20. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Lazy people.
21. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
Maize soup or what I call "Cat knuckle soup". I had this when I was in Mexico. I did notice the absence of cats in the town, but I was convinced by the others that it was corn and not cat knuckles that were bobbing around in my soup.
22. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you want it to be?
It would probably be a song I wrote and sang for my wife for our first X-mas. Professionally speaking though, I would choose "The Road", by Nick Drake.
23. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
Big Sky
24. What is the best book you have ever read?
"The Way of the Master", by Ray Comfort. This book will change your life, I promise.
25. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Her face, eyes, smile, hair, and her body. This order might be reversed in most cases.
26. What is the one thing you want to do before you die?
I want to see one of my songs recorded and I want to attain perfect pitch.
27. What is the most outrageous thing you would love to do?
Sing on stage. I have horrible pitch and voice sounds like a rusty nail going through tin, so singing on stage would be outrageous.
28. What is your favorite board game?
Trivial Pursuit
29. If you could have any job, what would it be?
Songwriter
30. What, in your opinion, is the worst way to die?
Shark attack.
31. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?
A million more wishes. That my entire family would be saved and be reunited in Heaven. Well, for that matter, I wish everyone would. And that I wish that I could start life over knowing everything I know now.
31. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas. I saw a Discovery Channel piece about this "manly peak" on the roof of the world and now I want to go.
32. What is one thing you could not go more than a week without?
My wife and my guitar.
33. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
I wish I could let go of my anger.
34. In the last three years, what is one thing you would have done differently?
I would share my faith more. See question 24 for further instructions on how Jesus did it.

Today's Random Thought

Why does it seem that the Vietnamese are predisposed to the nail care industry?