Teflon Needles
Do you know what I hate about getting shots? They stinkn' hurt! What did you think I was going to say, huh? One reason they are so pain full is due, in part, to the friction between your skin and the needle. Think about what happens when you fall and skin your knee. The friction causes skin to be scraped off because the asphalt is trying to hold on to your knee even as your knee is trying to slide. Much like the asphalt, your skin is trying to hold onto the needle even as the needle is trying to slide though it. Now I've over simplified the mechanics of it all and totally discounted the fact that we have thousands of nerve ending in our skin that get pretty pissed when they are poked, but you get the basic idea. Those injections that you get will be a lot less painful if science could somehow eliminate or reduce this friction.
That's not going to happen anytime soon because it is a basic law of physics, but with the help of Teflon great leaps could be made to making those injections for your gonorrhea spells a lot less painful. All we would need to do is coat surgical needles with Teflon, the slickist substance known.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Today's Invention
Liquid Glove
Liquid glove is a quick drying latex solution that the hands are dipped into to form a sheer, yet durable sheath around the hands. The latex, once dry, bonds to the hands and a forms a seal at which point it feels and behaves just like any other latex glove. The main advantage to this is its versatility. A surgeon who needs more tactile sensation would only apply one coat but a law enforcement official might need several coats to protect the hands from snags or punctures during searches where they might be exposed to needle sticks, contaminated or corrosive fluids, and all forms of pathogens.
Liquid glove is a quick drying latex solution that the hands are dipped into to form a sheer, yet durable sheath around the hands. The latex, once dry, bonds to the hands and a forms a seal at which point it feels and behaves just like any other latex glove. The main advantage to this is its versatility. A surgeon who needs more tactile sensation would only apply one coat but a law enforcement official might need several coats to protect the hands from snags or punctures during searches where they might be exposed to needle sticks, contaminated or corrosive fluids, and all forms of pathogens.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Today's Random Thought
Why do we only hear about UNICEF during Halloween? Are they a non-profit of the damned' raising money for the prince of darkness? Sorry about that. I should have just stuck with the intial question.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Today's Random Thought
The First Blogger
I realized last night that Doogie Houser was the first blogger. Do you remember how he would end every show by summing up his day on his computer journal? Stinkn' child prodigy; a doctor and web pioneer.
I realized last night that Doogie Houser was the first blogger. Do you remember how he would end every show by summing up his day on his computer journal? Stinkn' child prodigy; a doctor and web pioneer.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
How dare me!
There is nothing anyone can do to me, no mis-deed, no trespass, no evil done now or in the future that hasn't already been paid for by the blood of Christ. So how can I hold on to anger and bitterness? These are the results of an unforgiving heart. Was Christ's death not enough!? The debt was paid. What a fool I am to think that I should demand more from someone who offends me by seeking my own payment in anger, bitterness, and revenge. Christ blood was more and more and more than enough!
John MacArthur, in his Oct 11 radio broadcast entitled, "The portrait of a new life", says that the way we forgive is the measure of the depth of appreciation that we have for Christ's death for our sins. John goes on to say that it is also a measure of whether we have love in our hearts. Christ's forgiveness of our sins is the ultimate act of love and Eph 4:32 says we should forgive like Christ forgave. So by holding on to anger and bitterness we demonstrate that we don't love. 1 John 4:7 says that those who love know God. By not forgiving we show that we don't love and by not loving we show that we don't know God.
Use forgiveness to gauge the love you show and remember that the offenses against you have been paid for ALREADY. Don't demand more by giving in to your anger! You don't have that right! Was Christ's torture, his beatings, whippings, humiliation, the nails through his feet and hands not enough for you!?
John MacArthur, in his Oct 11 radio broadcast entitled, "The portrait of a new life", says that the way we forgive is the measure of the depth of appreciation that we have for Christ's death for our sins. John goes on to say that it is also a measure of whether we have love in our hearts. Christ's forgiveness of our sins is the ultimate act of love and Eph 4:32 says we should forgive like Christ forgave. So by holding on to anger and bitterness we demonstrate that we don't love. 1 John 4:7 says that those who love know God. By not forgiving we show that we don't love and by not loving we show that we don't know God.
Use forgiveness to gauge the love you show and remember that the offenses against you have been paid for ALREADY. Don't demand more by giving in to your anger! You don't have that right! Was Christ's torture, his beatings, whippings, humiliation, the nails through his feet and hands not enough for you!?
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Tactile Museum for the Blind
"My Lament"
OOOOoooooh, I am burden with this evil genius. OOOOoooooh, how I see the most innocent of ideas and twist them in my head. OOOOooooooh, how even the blind are not immune from the comedic poison that flows through my mind like Katrina over a levee. Ok, enough!
Check this link. It's a museum for the blind. Basically, everything in the museum is up for grabs, so to speak. The blind are allowed to touch the pieces of art which allows them to "see" them with their hands. Now, my mind has been overloaded with possible pranks and I grow weary of indulging them in my head, so I will speculate on a faux pas that surely must be a daily occurrence:
curator: Welcome madam, I hope you enjoy .............WHOA!!!!! MADAM, THE STATUES ARE DOWN THE HALL!
P.S. Ten points to anyone who can put the headshot from my bio on the statue from the link above.
10 minutes later.....................................we have a winner!
OOOOoooooh, I am burden with this evil genius. OOOOoooooh, how I see the most innocent of ideas and twist them in my head. OOOOooooooh, how even the blind are not immune from the comedic poison that flows through my mind like Katrina over a levee. Ok, enough!
Check this link. It's a museum for the blind. Basically, everything in the museum is up for grabs, so to speak. The blind are allowed to touch the pieces of art which allows them to "see" them with their hands. Now, my mind has been overloaded with possible pranks and I grow weary of indulging them in my head, so I will speculate on a faux pas that surely must be a daily occurrence:
- Statue of David mishap
curator: Welcome madam, I hope you enjoy .............WHOA!!!!! MADAM, THE STATUES ARE DOWN THE HALL!
P.S. Ten points to anyone who can put the headshot from my bio on the statue from the link above.
10 minutes later.....................................we have a winner!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Today's Invention
Today's invention was born out of my deep regret for missing the initial wave of the "fast food playground" explosion of the early eighties. McDonalds was the first in my hometown, but though I was of age, my freakishly adult frame disqualified me from their diminutive standards. I was barred from the ball pit. Being a few years younger when the trend started would have made for a much happier childhood.
The hardest blow was landed at Show Biz pizza; now called Chucky Cheese. It's one of those amusement park like establishments, if you aren't familiar with it. It was my birthday and I, along with a few of my friends had gathered there with our parents for pizza and party cake. I was 9 or 10. I'm sure the exact age would come back to me under regressive hypnosis but Blue Cross and Blue Shield doesn't cover psycho therapy. Show Biz issued us all a handful of tokens and sent us on our way. I didn't get very far because of my girth I wasn't allowed on the Rope Playhouse. My friends enjoyed it though. I had my eye on this neat little hydraulic ride in the vacant kiddy section of the play land. It was an airplane that would lift six feet or so in the air. It was a bit pricey at three tokens but Frogger had grown old and none of my friends were around to notice I was on a kiddy ride. I jump in and deposit my three tokens and waited for the ride to begin. After a few seconds the MIDI sounds of an airplane taking off came roaring through the cockpit speakers. I felt a sudden jolt and I was off! The plane hovered on its hydraulic arm half way up before seizing up under it's unusually heavy load and then began to slowly lower. I had broken it. Happy freakn' birthday!!!
Today's invention sounds a bit naughty, but I assure you it's not. It is an Adult Playground filled with adult toys. Once again, sicko, this isn't suggestive at all. The playground will consist of road worthy go-carts, virtual gaming, pool tables, dart boards, a bar, and many more activities that aren't suitable for children. Oh, and there will be a bouncer at the door with a measuring stick.
The hardest blow was landed at Show Biz pizza; now called Chucky Cheese. It's one of those amusement park like establishments, if you aren't familiar with it. It was my birthday and I, along with a few of my friends had gathered there with our parents for pizza and party cake. I was 9 or 10. I'm sure the exact age would come back to me under regressive hypnosis but Blue Cross and Blue Shield doesn't cover psycho therapy. Show Biz issued us all a handful of tokens and sent us on our way. I didn't get very far because of my girth I wasn't allowed on the Rope Playhouse. My friends enjoyed it though. I had my eye on this neat little hydraulic ride in the vacant kiddy section of the play land. It was an airplane that would lift six feet or so in the air. It was a bit pricey at three tokens but Frogger had grown old and none of my friends were around to notice I was on a kiddy ride. I jump in and deposit my three tokens and waited for the ride to begin. After a few seconds the MIDI sounds of an airplane taking off came roaring through the cockpit speakers. I felt a sudden jolt and I was off! The plane hovered on its hydraulic arm half way up before seizing up under it's unusually heavy load and then began to slowly lower. I had broken it. Happy freakn' birthday!!!
Today's invention sounds a bit naughty, but I assure you it's not. It is an Adult Playground filled with adult toys. Once again, sicko, this isn't suggestive at all. The playground will consist of road worthy go-carts, virtual gaming, pool tables, dart boards, a bar, and many more activities that aren't suitable for children. Oh, and there will be a bouncer at the door with a measuring stick.
Today's Random Thought
If you ever see a fox approach you and it's foaming at the mouth.....Maaaan, just leave it alone.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Today's Invention
Today's invention is a post-it note gospel tract. All you have to do is peel and stick. This invention, more than any of my inventions, actually can be done on my budget. I am stopping by Office Max to price the job.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Today's Random Thought
Logan's Roadhouse is one of those resturants that serves peanuts as appitizers. It's an American version of chips and salsa and basically these types of eateries are just thumbing their noses at the mexician joints, but it's a tasting gimmick none the less. Logan's further plays on the gimmick by allowing customers to toss their empty shells on the floor. It's part of the Roadhouse feel. My thought concerns the obvious slip hazzard that surrounds this practice. I'm actually surprised that there isn't a drive through just for soliciting lawyers. So, why don't more people walk out of Logan's with concussions? Anyhow, I've never been to an authentic Roadhouse but I did see Patrick Swayze in the movie of the same name, so I feel quite confident in saying that Logan's doesn't live up to the hype.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Don't push your religion on me!
Why does Christianity offend the world? Why does the Gospel rub people the wrong way?
When a proud sinner is confronted with their sin through the 10 commandments a battle is started in their heart and mind. Their conscience is convicting them of their sin while their mind is fighting to hold on to the belief that they are a "good" person. What results is anger. You've heard the saying, "Don't shoot the messenger for the message"? Well, this is what is happening. A proud sinner will lash out at the one who brought the message.
"Don't push your religion on me!" Have you heard this? It's the messenger being "shot". It is also proof that that person is being worked over by their conscience. Why else would they respond so harshly? You won't see the same response if someone stood up in the town square declaring the sky to be red and to repent of our notions of a blue sky. "Repent, blue sky believers!" No, you aren't going to hear anyone say, "Don't push your red sky belief on me!" You won't because that message doesn't convict the hearers' conscience. People would regard it as foolishness and not give it a second thought. But those who are being confronted by their sin are bothered, those who aren't don't give it a second thought because it is foolishness to them.
This brings me to the other question, "Why does the gospel rub people the wrong way?" Check out 1 Cor 1:18....
When a proud sinner is confronted with their sin through the 10 commandments a battle is started in their heart and mind. Their conscience is convicting them of their sin while their mind is fighting to hold on to the belief that they are a "good" person. What results is anger. You've heard the saying, "Don't shoot the messenger for the message"? Well, this is what is happening. A proud sinner will lash out at the one who brought the message.
"Don't push your religion on me!" Have you heard this? It's the messenger being "shot". It is also proof that that person is being worked over by their conscience. Why else would they respond so harshly? You won't see the same response if someone stood up in the town square declaring the sky to be red and to repent of our notions of a blue sky. "Repent, blue sky believers!" No, you aren't going to hear anyone say, "Don't push your red sky belief on me!" You won't because that message doesn't convict the hearers' conscience. People would regard it as foolishness and not give it a second thought. But those who are being confronted by their sin are bothered, those who aren't don't give it a second thought because it is foolishness to them.
This brings me to the other question, "Why does the gospel rub people the wrong way?" Check out 1 Cor 1:18....
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."A man dying on the cross for me? That is silly. Tell a sinner that before they are convinced of their sin and you've just turned the gospel message into just an ordinary event in history. It takes seeing that one is a sinner before hell and the cross make sense. For ways to biblically witness to someone go to The Way of the Master.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Today's Random Thought
I wonder if Jesus' repeated references about tax collectors didn't hurt Matthew just a little each time?
I wonder if writing about it here was therapy for him? I can hear Jesus saying that and the Apostles snickering at Matthew.
Matt 5:46
"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" -NIV
I wonder if writing about it here was therapy for him? I can hear Jesus saying that and the Apostles snickering at Matthew.
Monday, September 19, 2005
"Shock Joust" added to the pop lexicon
"Shock Joust", the word I coined in a post titled "Paraplegic Humor", was added to pseudodictionary.com.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Good News!!!
It's a Girl!!!! God has answered our prayers. Today we learn that we are going to have a girl. The ultrasound showed a 1 lb 1 oz. girl jumping around inside my wife. WOW. We are soooo happy!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Guilty of looking the other way!
Chris's post and my daily reading prompted this:
"If someone comes to your meeting and does not teach the truth about Christ, don't invite him into your house or encourage him in any way. Anyone who encourages him becomes a partner in his evil work" 2 John 10, NLTWe have ground accustomed to walking on eggshells around our "Christian" brothers who are living in sin and by doing so are guilty of it ourselves. By saying nothing we are encouraging him. Wow. Chew on that.
My Goals
I'm reading Steven Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and I'm even more convinced of the importance of goals. I've included mine here below with a brief note on how I plan to achieve each goal. This is a working document for me which look at and add to periodically. I suck at this in my opinion but I am accomplishing more with goals in mind than without them.
Love more
See others how God sees them
Pray more
For the lost
Family
Self betterment
Be a better husband
Call from work
Leave notes
See things from her point of view
Memorize and establish a repertoire
Memorize one cover a month
Memorize one original a month
Memorize a verse a day.
Evangelize more
Hand out tracts.
Read more. Bible, self-help, bio, ect
Read bible during lunch break
Read chapter out of self help book a day
Read chapter out of a book for leisure
Write more
Write a song a week.
Play a stronger lead
Amp up at church
Practice along with CDs
Develop my ear
Learn intervals
Develop Tonal Memory
Enter writing contests
One a month
January 2005
Last revised August 2005
Goals 2005Last revised August 2005
Love more
See others how God sees them
Pray more
For the lost
Family
Self betterment
Be a better husband
Call from work
Leave notes
See things from her point of view
Memorize and establish a repertoire
Memorize one cover a month
Memorize one original a month
Memorize a verse a day.
Evangelize more
Hand out tracts.
Read more. Bible, self-help, bio, ect
Read bible during lunch break
Read chapter out of self help book a day
Read chapter out of a book for leisure
Write more
Write a song a week.
Play a stronger lead
Amp up at church
Practice along with CDs
Develop my ear
Learn intervals
Develop Tonal Memory
Enter writing contests
One a month
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Spurgeon Blues
Even Judas was a preacher
"You that are Church-officers do not conclude that because you enjoy the confidence of the Church, therefore there is an absolute certainty the grace of God in you." -Charles Spurgeon
Spurgeon Blues
Hypocrisy
"I am told that Christians do not love each other. I am very sorry if that be true, but I rather doubt it, for I suspect that those who do not love each other are not Christians." -Charles Spurgeon
Today's Random Thought
What was the reasoning behind making cookies look like elves? How did we become callous to this? They don't taste like elves, so why did we go down that road? The "Little People" of the world aren't offended that we are biting into their cookie likeness and that is just weird if you think about it. I would be if I learned that Africans were eating "Eric" shaped sugar cookies made to look like a Caucasian hillbilly from Tennessee. I don't know? Mr. Peanut freaks me out too. I don't know if we'd be so cavalier about eating peanuts if they all looked like Mr. Peanut. Anthropomorphism and food just don't seem to mix but we've accepted it somehow.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Today's Invention
Teflon Cue Stick
I invented this to eliminate the messy practice of chalking the stick before play. Teflon is the slipperiest substance known to man and will provide the near frictionless surface needed to properly maneuver the stick through the players' hand during a shot.
I invented this to eliminate the messy practice of chalking the stick before play. Teflon is the slipperiest substance known to man and will provide the near frictionless surface needed to properly maneuver the stick through the players' hand during a shot.
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